Thursday, May 11, 2006

A brief memo to the field of statistics

Dear Statistics,

We don't seem to be getting along these days. Let's talk about it. Lunch, maybe?

Hopefully we can work things out.

Best,

Nicole

7 Comments:

Anonymous Statistics said...

Dear Nicole-

We are not meant to ever get along. It is in my nature to be obtuse, confusing and stupidly boring. Perhaps you've met my cousin, physics?

I must decline your invitation for lunch. Too bad...so sad.

Yours-
Statistics.

Thursday, May 11, 2006 9:25:00 PM  
Blogger Dee said...

Snap.

Friday, May 12, 2006 9:01:00 AM  
Blogger Nicole said...

Oh, Stats,

You make me laugh.

But don't try to compare yourself to Physics. She might be comfusing at times, but she explains a lot -- why things fall, go fast, keep going, hold charges ... You, however, not only are confusing and obtuse, but your livlihood seems to be simply focused on making life more difficult.

And the way you let some people manipulate you to prove a point? Please. Statistics, you are such a tool.

Now you rebuff my offer to try to make amends.

Fine then. Be that way. I'm going to bring it on. I'm going to master you, no matter what it takes. Sure I'll play by your rules. I don't really have a choice. But in the end, I WILL prevail. I'm sure of that. (p<0.001)

Yours,
Nicole

Friday, May 12, 2006 9:48:00 AM  
Anonymous Statistics said...

Dear Nicole-

Yes, I am a tool. and if manipulated correctly, I can take the wind out of your sails when I destroy the appearance of your significant data.

and please, don't compliment physics. She relies way too much on me for her magic.

Perhaps, we can be friends. I'll teach you all about ANOVA and Tukey if you buy me a sandwich.

Yours-
Statistics.

Sunday, May 14, 2006 10:20:00 AM  
Blogger heidi said...

i know a man who speaks funny you can take this up with...

Sunday, May 14, 2006 2:46:00 PM  
Blogger Dee said...

Oh, no, he di'n't!

Monday, May 15, 2006 12:01:00 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

Mmm. I could go for some Tukey sandwiches. With cranberry sauce!

(har... har... har...)

I think I am hungry. I really read "Tukey" as "turkey."

Also, I *am* running one way ANOVAs and Tukey tests now... Hmm, this "Statistics" knows something about me! Or my work!

I am entertained!

Whoever dis be!

Monday, May 15, 2006 5:27:00 PM  

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