Saturday, September 10, 2005

Wedding-a-thon 2005! (part one)

I have been invited to six weddings this year. Six. Two in NJ, two in GA, two in TN. Two college friends, two grad school friends, one of my best friends in high school, and my cousin. Weddings spanning from simple to elaborate, small to large, super-traditional to wholly unconventional.

I love weddings, in general. But damn that's a whole lotta marrying going on. The large majority of these include the pre-parties and thensome. When you factor in the wedding showers, engagement parties, etc. it gets kind of crazy. Nevermind the volume of mail I've received -- engagement notices, save the date bookmarks and magnets -- at one point my roommate put a post-it note on one that read, "If you get another one of these things, I'm going to puke." Apparently weddings make her ill.

But I've been taking it all in stride. Sort of. By wedding #3 (yeah, I just started numbering them -- sorry guys ;)) I was a bit weddinged-out, and had to decline. I mean, every bridal shower had all this *stuff* you had to do -- draw pictures, write recipies, give advice, play Pictionary or somesuch... although, this did allow me, for the first time ever, to play parlor games in an actual parlor.

Also, I have refined my toilet-paper-wedding dresses to a science. I have secret weapons with which I win this game a disporportionate amount of times. All in the details.

At any rate, eventually I regained my stamina. Which is good, because the mother-of-all-these-weddings -- my cousin's -- occurred over Labor Day weekend. Big, Catholic, Filipino, New Jersey-an -- in other words, totally out of control.

The invitation was like some sort of marketing brochure: pearlescent cardstock folder with tiered cards inside. These included a timeline of events, a full cast listing (entitled "entourage" -- I was in it!) For the ceremony: full Mass + extra Flip stuff (both customs and people -- like primary and secondary sponsors [advice givers, not financiers] who must process in, be introduced, etc.) My part came in here: I did the second reading. Hebrews never sounded so smooth. And a bolt of lightning did not come down and knock me off the pulpit, nor did I burst into a fireball, as I had envisioned.

Reception included: the fancy introductions/processions + a fog machine + really awesome lighting + a DJ better than a large percentage of the ones here + sit-down dinner and open bar (a given at this point, right?) + movie-screen projection of introductions and obligatory photo montage + screen and window shades automatically coming down when movies began.

At the end of the reception, we watched a heart-string-tugging video montage (rife with slow-mo, halo effects and gaussian blur)... OF THE ENTIRE DAY WE JUST EXPERIENCED. Yes, including the reception events like cake-cutting, bouquet/garter toss, etc. It totally fucked with my head.

In short, it was such an event, I think they need to sell a DVD of it. Perhaps I can see some relatives I missed in the bonus footage. Or see trailers of the next wedding I can attend.

OK, it may sound like I'm knocking it, but I really did have fun -- but mostly because I got to see my cuz incredibly happy, marrying a sweet guy, and looking stunningly gorgeous on her big day (no she doesn't read this, I think, so I'm not just saying that) AND because I got to hang with a bunch of relatives from all over who I hadn't seen in eons. I, the country-bumpkin, played tour guide in the city for some of the Chicago crew on our day off. I'm a crappy tour guide, by the way. No one got lost, and we found free parking (I am good at that, for some odd reason) but my idea of "things to do" are: walk around the park. look at people. eat. But we had a kid with us, so that naturally makes everything fun.

I was going to elaborate on one family member, but I'll hold off until a part two because this is terribly long already.

But in wrapping up, I have to say that seeing that I've got all these really cool, intelligent, creative, and artistic relatives makes me happy. I'd even go as far as to say it makes me more comfortable with these same qualities in myself... but that would contradict the self-depricating charm of my blog... so uh, whoa! I'm the family outcast! There.

Naturally, there are pictures of this event. Some (not mine) are actually publicly available on the inter-web, and if you are a crafty little cookie, you may have found them already. Otherwise, I will limit my guided tour via email to select contacts who will tolerate my obnoxious self-promotion. Thank you, friends. (but if you want on, drop me a line)

(There are some truly awful pictures of me, but one that is, hands-down, the best picture of me ever. Period. I showed it to G. this afternoon and she exclaimed, "I didn't even recognize you!" Yes folks, it's that good. I look so good, in fact, I think I was turning myself on while looking at it earlier.)


Anonymous Leigh said...

When you think of yourself, do you touch yourself?

Thursday, September 15, 2005 2:55:00 PM  
Blogger heidi said...

i bet i know whose is small, simple and wholly unconventional...

Thursday, September 15, 2005 3:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Muffy Wong said...

I wish I could make mine small,simple and unconventional but I too will be subjecting my non Catholic fiance to a whole Catholic mass wedding ceremony.

My mother never let me get past "Can we just do half of..."


oh well.

Monday, September 19, 2005 6:52:00 PM  

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